I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Text me some of your sweat
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
