are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
