you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
