apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
