Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
