You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
