So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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