Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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