Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
