yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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