trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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