Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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