I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
