I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
