Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize