You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
