had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize