There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
