We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
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Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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