i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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