You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize