Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
