My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The adults are the big ones right?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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