It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
