Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize