the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
