that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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