do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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