we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
