"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
