My balls are so social today.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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