He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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