There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
