Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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