great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
why do cheetos always look like penises
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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