New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize