I think my vagina is haunted
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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