I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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