i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
