Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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