I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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