I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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