apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
