if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
