Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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