HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
