weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
