Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize