Having a random hookup so left but love u
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
