There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
