Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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