He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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