hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.