So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
