Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
my poor anus
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.