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Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
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