we're blogging at a bar
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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