the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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