Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize