Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
