Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
