At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
