He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
