to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
